7 Empowering Books to Inform Your Birth Journey

To be honest I'm not so much of a natural bookworm. Sitting down and reading can feel like a real chore, but each of the books below have been a pleasure for me to hold and gather wisdom from. Take a peek inside each one in the pictures, and get a quick glimpse into why you might want to add some of these to your bookshelf. And if you're eager, the titles are links to Amazon (though you might want to check with some other parents or birth workers for freebies first)!

The Birth Partner
Penny Simkin, P.T.

• Great for partners and birthing parents
• Explains each stage of labor in terms of "What Is It," "How Long Does It Last," "What Does the Mother [Birthing Parent] Feel," "What Does the Caregiver Do," and "How Might You [Partner] Feel?"
• Great for creating your birth preferences

Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn
Penny Simkin, P.T.; Janet Whalley, R.N., B.S.N.; Ann Keppler, R.N., M.N.

• Great one-stop-shop resource
• Covers everything! Pregnancy, prenatal tests, childbirth (stages, comfort measures, medical interventions), postpartum, newborn care, and more
• Very readable format with charts, pictures, illustrations and more

Active Birth: The New Approach
to Giving Birth Naturally
Janet Balaskas

• Great for low-intervention preference parents
• Covers how movement can be a useful tool for birthing parents before, during, and after childbirth
• Lots of pictures and illustrations!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
Ina May Gaskin

• Great for parents and partners looking to understand labor and birth without fear
• Follow-up to Spiritual Midwifery
• Lots of positive, normalizing stories of birth!

Mothering the New Mother
Sally Placksin

• Great for parents, partners and birth workers looking to understand the time after childbirth, and what support looks like then
• Discusses different cultural postpartum traditions
• Covers common issues: emotional hardships, going back to work, other kids, doulas and more
• Includes voices of real parents

Listen to Me Good
Margaret Charles Smith & Linda Janet Holmes

• Great for anyone looking to understand the legacy of midwifery, especially in the African-American community in the United States
• The story of a Black midwife in Alabama, who practiced from 1949-1981
• Stories of real births, birth practices and cultural traditions from the 1950s-1970s

Orgasmic Birth
Elizabeth Davis & Debra Pascali-Bonaro

• Great for parents curious about the experience of pleasure during childbirth
• "Orgasmic birth" defined as "[the experience of] those who describe birth as ecstatic and... those who actually felt the contractions of orgasm and climax at the moment of delivery"
• Includes very positive birth stories!

What books have empowered and informed you on your own birth journey, whether as parent, partner or birth worker? Share that or any other thoughts in the comments below!

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Little Eden

Sweet little Eden, look at all these people who're so happy that you're here! I'm easily another. Look at that face!

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Taking a Moment to Breathe

Photo by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

I'm taking a break from my blog this week. I thought about all kinds of things I could say — all kinds of lists I could make — but honestly, I'm tired. My head is tired. My heart is tired. My feet are tired. My eyes are tired. My voice — I can't help it, to some degree — I can't stop talking in some way or another — but my voice is tired.

And while I know every voice is important, I also know that I'm not alone, which means I don't always need to be the one speaking. This week, in this one way, I will be quiet, and let the voices of my brothers and sisters — with the amazing, beautiful, strong words they've already said — be heard without my added noise.

And I will rest. And I will invite others to rest. And that space is just... yeah, it's beautiful.

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5 Things to Do When Hateful Groups Come to Town

Photo by Olayinka Babalola on Unsplash

Struggling with the news of the white nationalists marching in Charlottesville, VA today? Or some other hateful group gathering in your area? Don't know what to do? What to say? How to deal? Here are a few thoughts just from my experience. Do what fits who you are in this season of your life, and if there's anything missing, let me know.

1. Counter-Protest
I know a lot of people who made t-shirts and banners and signs, got their cars filled up and journeyed from near and far to be present in protest to the white nationalists marching in Charlottesville this weekend. 

I respect that so genuinely, so deeply. It helps me to know that people I trust will be there standing in the gap and they'll send back an account I can trust, too.

And while there are parts of me that very much wish that were me, it's not where I am, not in this season of my life. And that's okay, too.


2. Take a Long Bath / Go to Yoga / Go See a Movie / Eat Good Food / Get Off Facebook
We have enough racial and cultural stress to deal with on a daily basis without the headlines about attention-seeking, overcompensatingly hateful people marching in cities near us. We can't just keep thinking about it constantly. It's not healthy.

So however you're fighting the power, just be sure you take a break at some point to take care of your mind and body.

Do things that bring life to your spirit. Stay away from things that suck you into dark places. And to laugh! We have to be able to laugh.


3. Have Friends Over For Dinner
There's a woman in my community who hosted dinners for other POC in the area for a while, as a communal place of peace and safety and laughter and joy in the midst of this revival of hateful crap.

Are you so inclined? Get a group together to eat, drink, and be both mournful and merry together, in whatever order and amount you all need.

4. Write / Sing / Dance / Create
Your creativity can be an amazing educational tool, opening the eyes of your family, friends, and complete strangers to the experience of being POC in this country at this time. Whatever way you are driven to express your reactions, your feelings, your anything — do it. I certainly want to see and share it.


5. Pray
If you're a praying person, I say pray.

I definitely believe that there is a deeply spiritual aspect to the hate that grows in peoples' hearts against any other group of people or individuals.

Furthermore, fighting discrimination will mess you up spiritually if it can. It will shake your faith, it will test your patience, your convictions, your peace of mind and joy.

So if you're a praying person, I hope you pray for miraculous revelations in the minds and hearts of people currently blinded by hate and fear. And I hope you pray for walls of protection around your own mind and heart, too. 


Bonus: Are You White? Talk to Your People
I love it when I see my white friends talking to their white friends about the realities of racism and discrimination in the United States. As a person of color, I can talk and shout and write all day until my face is blue and my fingers are broken and there are some people who will just never hear me.

If you're white, you have a much greater chance of being heard out by some individuals, especially those close to you. Use that open door.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments below. Stay safe and have peace. ☀️

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4 Burning Thoughts on How Work Growth Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

Alright. Fine. Here it is. I have to get something off my chest. I have a problem with the way that American culture at large seems to look at success and value in work.

Being qualified to do something doesn’t always mean you went to school for it.

There are some forms of work where, it’s just incredibly unlikely and mostly dangerous for you to try to do that work without extensive formal schooling. Performing a surgery for example, or defending someone in a court of law. But learning in a school setting isn’t the only way to learn and even in those life/death, freedom/imprisonment, bankruptcy/wealth-affecting jobs it’s not the only way that people are guided to learn, and there even are instances in which people without traditional formal schooling are trained to do that work.

Medical students are shown surgeries; they’re taken under the wing of older more experienced doctors. Many lawyers and businesspeople have mentors and practice their skills in staged situations to prepare them for the real situations they’ll eventually face.

Bottom line, training is necessary, but depending on your field, it can be approached in a variety of equally valid ways (or let’s say ways that each have pros and cons for you to weigh depending on your circumstances). So figure out what kind of training is available and accessible to you and go!

And if you can reasonably self-teach to start, go for it! Just paint! You want to design stuff? Start designing! You want to be a photographer? Get the camera you can afford and just start and don’t let anyone tell you that you are not a painter or designer or photographer. You ARE that. You are a BEGINNER that. So by all means, people stay HUMBLE. But stand firm. That’s a first step.


It’s okay to be a beginner.

I have seen a little contempt lately online toward people who are just starting out in their creative fields. “They charge too little/too much” or “They’re not high quality enough” or “They haven’t been around long enough” or whatever the case may be.

Hey beginners out there [waves]! Hi! Hello. Yes. Welcome! [hugs] You’re on your way! In a few months you’re going to realize that you could be doing so many things so much better. In a year you’re going to look back and laugh about the silly mistakes you made when you were clueless about what you were doing. In a few years you’re not going to believe how far you’ve come! And through all that I hope you’ll never forget those earliest, foggiest, most nervous days when you first started. And you’ll welcome the new newbies with open arms.

Remember how much bravery it took you to take the leap, to start, to have faith in yourself. Look for the best in people. You can correct someone else, just correct them kindly. Maybe offer a mentorship. Share what you’ve learned, and how you learned it. Have compassion.

Remember. We all start somewhere. And we’re all different. So their start may not look like yours did. That’s okay too.

And if some other person really is taking advantage — really is full of ego or malicious intent — boy is that kind of thing hard to hide. There are compassionate ways to confront people acting in those ways but I’ve found they typically become their own downfall.


Some certifications are not worth the money (at least right now).

Having a stack of certifications won’t mean much if your heart isn’t truly in what you’re doing or you go broke along the way to getting them and you can’t afford to do the work you want to do anymore anyway.

There are a bunch of certifications I think it would be nice to have, but I’m just pursuing the ones that will affirm the experience I’m gaining at the most foundational level. Certifications are icing on the cake. And you know what, a cake with no icing is basically a brownie so, yeah, it’s still AMAZING.


Life isn’t one-size-fits all. Ask for advice, but don’t follow a path that’s not yours.

I went to a four-year university. A really expensive four-year university. I’m incredibly grateful that I had a full-tuition scholarship, the support of my parents, and opportunities to work while in school — all allowing me to attend that beautiful establishment.

My college experience gave me so much space and encouragement to grow and learn according to my own initiative and vision. And even now, after school has ended, I have this network of people that still benefit me. But guess what? Some people had awful college experiences, or college experiences that now seem entirely disconnected to what they do or didn’t go to college and are wildly successful in what they do!

I see people asking online all the time about what other people did to pursue that kind of work or this kind of work, especially in the creative and self-employed worlds and you know what, that’s great, but it has limits.

Once someone tells me, “This is how I did it and this is the right way,” I know to put a yellow flag up. They might be right. But let me still check for other options.

I have to make the decisions about my work, my business and my life that fit who I am, what I can afford, what I stand for, who I want around me and what I want my legacy to be. So while I always appreciate seeing how others do things — and I ask for those perspectives often — I always filter it through my values and goals... and bank statement, let's be real.

Every time someone reaches out to me about design or doula work I get little butterflies in my stomach like someone just asked me to dance after I’d been crushing on them all semester. I can hardly believe that I get to design beautiful things and to be there supporting parents as their babies are born!

I didn’t go to college for these things. But I self-taught, I attended trainings, I watched, I asked questions, I read books, I discussed, I’ve done everything I can do to prepare myself because offering quality is not a question — it’s a requirement.

Anyway, I just want to encourage people today. If you’re feeling unworthy, if you’re feeling too behind, if you’re feeling like you’re not the “type of person who does A B or C” — those are lies.

Nothing and no one can hold you back. You better go for it! Leave the FB trolls in your dust. ☀️

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