Midwife, Agbebi, Partera, Fanm-Saj, Qabila, Zhuchan shi: Q&A with a Black Student Midwife

Today's post comes to you from Everyday Birth Magazine, a magazine about pregnancy, birth, and parenthood created for folks from many life experiences, brought to you by The Educated Birth. View the original post here.

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Midwives are one of the options of care providers that you can choose when you're on your birth journey. The work of the midwife has been known across the world for generations upon generations. What are some of the things a midwife has to say today? About what it looks like to do this work, and what parents should know? Joining us on the blog today is Barbara Vernéus, a Black student midwife in Austin, Texas with a very important message for us all.

Welcome! Introduce yourself, what's your name, where are you, and tell us about your journey into midwifery?
Hi! My name is Barbara. I am the founder/creator of Tiny & Brave Holistic Services; student midwife, a blogger; maternal life coach, while being a single mother of one. I have been a trained Birth Companion, or doula, since 2004. In 2006, I went overseas through the African Birth Collective to Senegal, West Africa assisting midwives in labor and delivery. In 2008, I obtained a Graduate certificate from Boston University in Maternal and Infant Care in Public Health. I received my Master’s in Counseling with a concentration in Marriage and Family in 2016. I have written for Mater Mea; Mothering Naturally, Black Women Birthing Justice; MadameNoire and #NoPrivateParts. I've conducted workshops at Juneteenth Health Summit (Austin, TX); Yoni Poppin-Bellies Edition (Miami, FL) and Decolonize Birth (Brooklyn, NY). I am an advocate in being an instrument of healing to women, mothers and mothers-to-be who have experienced trauma; while inspiring more Black and Brown women to enter the birth work field. I am is also advocate/activist on the issue of the infant and maternal disparities happening within Black communities.

What has your experience as a Black student midwife been like so far?
My experience as a student hasn’t been easy and wasn’t because of the midwives. I have been fortunate enough to be with two amazing midwives that took me in. They were very understanding and as patient as possible about my circumstances of being a single mother with no physical support. Eventually I had to take a break from on-call life as a student and focus on being a single mother with no real physical support. At the current time I plan to attend La Luz Maternidad in El Paso, Texas for a minimum of 6 months, but really aiming for the one year program to continue to gain hands-on experience.

Why is it important that we see more Black and other POC midwives coming onto the scene?
Currently, we know that only 2% of the 15,000 midwives in the U.S. are Black, while the 40 million Black folks in this country make up 13% of the population. In the middle of this, Black women and babies are dying 3-4x higher than white women here. These numbers show us this is important.

Now, you make these amazing t-shirts — tell us about each of the types of shirts you're making and how that came to be, and how the funds are making an impact?
I created the Diasporic Midwife shirt in 2016 when I was doing my research of Black midwives in the U.S., and started realizing the lack of midwives in other cultures and asked, "Where

the Asian, Latinx, Haitian, Muslim, etc.,midwives?" I realized midwifery has been colonized. So I found the word midwife in each cultural language, and made this shirt to represent those we're not seeing.

Dope Moms Need Dope Moms, created in May 2017, came from the idea of just being a mother myself helping other women become mothers for the 1st time or all over again. My slogan comes from the African proverb that says "it takes a village" for we only successful as our support system. This is an ode to "mothering the mother" (doula); like mothers like me who are birth workers, helping others enter and re-enter motherhood. But most importantly it is helping to give awareness to the maternal and infant mortality rate. Black women and babies are 4x more likely to die than white women and one of the ways to help in that is standing in the gap for our fellow Black moms and being our sister's keeper when it comes to protecting our Black women and Black babies.

The funds from these shirts will be solely invested in my education at La Luz Maternidad in El Paso, TX to apprentice towards obtaining a Certified Professional Midwife credential. This program will provide me as student midwife with the opportunity to learn and acquire basic midwifery skills, attend births, catch babies, and provide prenatal and postpartum care. Licensed midwives sign off all skills and knowledge gained during this program.

Students who complete this program may get credit for the first and second quarters and continue their studies to complete a MEAC-accredited program which is my hope but as a single mother with no physical support is currently unpredictable. But I'm determined to make it happen. I haven't made it this far to fail myself, my daughter, and everyone who has invested in me thus far.

What do you want expecting parents of color to know about midwifery?
I want them to know midwifery care is an option first and foremost and that there are different options within midwifery itself. Depending on your state laws you can have a midwife in your hospital, birthing center and even in the comfort of your own home. Midwives are trained to make medical decisions just as obstetricians are trained — we're just trained differently — and studies have shown that a midwife's care can have positive, SAFE outcomes such as fewer complications or c-sections.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Becoming a Certified Professional Midwife is a difficult task. Laws and access to the education make it very difficult to become one, personal circumstances aside. If you want to pursue this kind of midwifery create a plan for how will you complete it. Look into how will you finance your education. Create your support team. Make sure to look at all the possible scenarios that may create barriers in accomplishing your dream and creating solutions to those barriers. This is a part of the reason why we don't see so many midwives who look like us, and this is what we can do to change that.

Even if you're not looking to become a midwife you can support our cause. Another way to make a difference is to fight to make the laws in your state more accessible and affordable to all the midwives to come.


Find Barbara Vernéus online: Website / Instagram / Facebook 

The Exhausting and Worthwhile Process of Clarity and Kindness

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We live in a time where many of our conversations are happening in type on screens, where no one can see our faces or hear our voices while we express what we express, and we can't quickly address misinterpretations or add clarifying information when something is misinterpreted or missed. Even offline, though, being a little painstakingly thorough in how we communicate with one another has been well worth it in my experience. After practicing this process with a recent Facebook post, I thought it might be worth talking a little bit about how this works for me.

"How will I frame what I have to say?"
Intro is always important. For mine, I wanted it to be clear that this process of responding had been painstaking, that I took it seriously, and that it was the result of an actual practice of patience. And I wanted to do that quickly so I could get to the points.


"How can I validate the point the person across from me is trying to make as I illuminate why that point is irrelevant/based in a falsehood? And how can I do that kindly?"
I navigate the world looking at how people are for the most part trying their best to do something or say something of value. They're not trying to be malicious, especially those we discuss things with online (unless they're literally trolling — in which case you need to just learn to discern that and leave the bait alone).

So, assuming I'm not engaging with someone who's trolling, I make it a point to reiterate and validate the point the person across from me is trying to make before turning to educate them on what I believe they should consider or learn more about.


"Is this as kind as it can be? Does this sound like it would be yelled or snapped? Does this sound sarcastic? Can I make it sound less frustrated and more calm and genuine?"
I try my best to make sure my words are coming across as genuinely spoken, and even-keeled. 

It's easy for me to type something and then when someone else reads it — it's suddenly escalated in tone or volume to them. And sarcasm just doesn't tend to go over well in most situations — when the goal is to make a solid connection over a point of contention — spoken or otherwise.

"Who am I speaking to? Is that clear?"
Sometimes the message you're communicating isn't actually for everyone who might be reading it. It's worthwhile to clarify at times who exactly you're intending the message for, so other folks don't get confused or hurt thinking you're talking to them, too.


"Am I talking about what I actually know about? Am I directing people to solid resources? What are the next steps I'm offering folks so this doesn't become a revolving door of feelings/opinions leading to no actual action or conclusions?"
I can share my experiences with full confidence. But when it comes to things outside of my specific area of education and expertise, I've got to be able to direct people to a reputable source, or at least suggest they go find them if I don't know them off the top of my head, if I'm going to expect them to take that info seriously.


"Do I sound like a real person? Do I sound like I know I'm talking to a real person?"
Again, this brings in the issue of tone and approach. As I read things I'm writing, I often ask myself, am I sounding like I'm talking down to someone or putting myself on their same level, or even humbling myself in the way that I'm communicating?

How do I balance my conviction and my humility? How do I make it clear to other folks that I'm not attacking them, I'm reaching out to them? I'm inviting them.

Because honestly at the end of the day — whether we like it or not, whether we feel like it or not — we're already at the same table. What are we going to do about it?

It is exhausting to do this. It means that when I'm doing this well, I'm not just venting and posting. It's not taking me a few minutes to share what's on my mind. It's taking an hour, or two even. But I deeply believe it's worthwhile. And I believe you see the difference in the types of responses that arrive below posts where I engage this practice — and the amount of responses that I get *off* of social media.

Do you have a process for when you're speaking to someone (whether in type or aloud) about a topic that can easily escalate or devolve into misinterpretation? What's worked well for you in balancing what you have to say and who you're speaking to?

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5 Pregnant People Illustrations and Why I Draw Them

I spend hours illustrating. I deeply enjoy it. It's almost meditative for me, doing each line, undoing them, doing them again, creating the connections and smoothing the rough bits out, before settling in and turning to color them in. But it didn't begin out of joy. It didn't begin intentionally.

It began because I couldn't find something. I couldn't find illustrations of pregnant Black people. And I couldn't just let that go. I needed to fill the gap. I needed to do it myself, because who else would? And here's a little more of why I'm so glad now that I do...

The Simplicity

Reaching people doesn't always have to be so complicated. Make an illustration, and all of a sudden, you've built a bridge to someone. I love that.

The Depth and Power

People have reached out to me to let me know how much it meant to them to see illustrations of Black and Brown people during pregnancy and birth and parenting. The lack of the availability of that sent a strong message. Finding it sent a new message, and that message had real impact. My clients have pointed it out before. It makes a difference to them.

The Usefulness

Sometimes things are difficult to explain, or take longer to explain in words than they do to explain in images. Images live in another space in the mind, that's even more effective for some people. And images transcend language, too.

The Eye-Opening

Sometimes seeing something visually leaves a different impression than hearing about it, or sparks a curiosity that hearing wouldn't spark. Sometimes it just sits differently with us when we see it. I like that, too.

The Beauty

All else aside, I'm most happy if I look at an illustration and I think, "Well, that's just beautiful." And that's often the case. Pregnant people are powerful and beautiful. 

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The Three Midwives in the River: A Story of Diverse Solutions to the Same Problem... and the Problems with That

Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

“There’s a river. In the river, babies are drowning, and three midwives passing by each see. The first midwife, devastated by the sight, jumps into the river and starts pulling babies out and putting them on the shore. The second midwife, devastated by the sight, jumps into the river and begins teaching the babies how to swim themselves to shore. The third midwife, devastated by the sight, runs up into the town to find out how the babies are getting into the river, and how to stop it.”

At a symposium this weekend, this story was shared. “Our community — our birth world community supports and invests in one of these midwives more than the others,” the storyteller said (in different words). “In this room, we have all of these midwives, and some of them are drowning in the river, too.”

As I reflect on my time at this symposium this weekend, rather than delve into the nitty-gritty of what happened on day one, day two, day three, etc., I’d like to delve more deeply into these three midwives, these three approaches – not just to infant and maternal mortality, but to many of our community issues. Why do our communities – namely Black/POC communities compared to White communities – engage in the same missions in such different ways?

The Hands-On Midwife in the River
When all you have is your hands and your heart

Why does the midwife who jumps into the river to pull out babies do that? Because all they have is their hands? That might be the case. There are many ways to act in a situation, and the way we choose to act often depends upon what we have in our toolbox... though not always.

Consider that Black and POC communities and individuals have less wealth – generationally and individually – today than White folks. Consider that we tend to have less “assets” in terms of economic, political, and social capital. Consider also that — what is the emotional impact of seeing someone in a helpless/voiceless situation when you have had your own personal experiences with feeling helpless/voiceless?

What do you know you have to offer, and what feels right? I speak for myself, but maybe it will resonate with others when I say that, when you look at someone struggling and you think, “That could have been me,” or “That was me,” your reflex – your gut reaction – your immediate solution – will draw you closer into their space. It will urgently pull you to pull them into the safe space you know they can experience, if only you fill the gap.


The Midwife Teaching in the River
When you trained for a moment such as this

Why does the midwife who wades into the river to teach babies to swim do that? Because they know how to swim. And why do they know how to swim? Because they saw someone drown before, and they said to themselves, “Not again. Not if I can help it. I will learn how to swim and I will use that knowledge when I get the chance.” Because they knew they’d get the chance.

Consider that Black women are amongst the most highly educated groups in the U.S. Consider that generations of families of color have taken tremendous risks and worked incredibly hard and sustained deep levels of racism and mistreatment in order for themselves or their children or grandchildren to achieve higher levels of education. Consider that many folks have left their communities for the sole purpose of being able to come back to serve it someday (even if they don’t always actually do that).

This is all over our communities. Many POC lawyers, doctors, athletes – we see them thread community service into their careers. Is that always the case? Is it always authentic? No, unfortunately not. But it is a commonly held shared value. Success is often perceived as communal in communities that have experienced a great deal of marginalization. Success for an individual is often seen as the result of communal investment (“I accomplished X because my auntie did Y, or my teachers said Z, or my school gave me A) and likewise success for the individual is an opportunity for many others to benefit from the fruit of their labors, in the hopes that this pattern would restore whole communities.


The Midwife Who Leaves the River to Help
When one answer is at the top, and you have a ladder, or know where one is

Why does the midwife who leaves the river, leave the river? They're going after the root to this problem and believe the root issue can be solved. Many of the problems in our society are systemic, some intentionally and maliciously. Many of the issues that Black folks and other people of color face are the result of plans and events set in motion generations and generations back, that still have consequences for present day lives.

But these consequences don’t touch all lives as directly. So when someone sees them who hasn’t experienced them, or didn't even know those consequences existed, they will naturally have a slightly different reaction. They may be shocked, they may be horrified, they may feel

emotions that someone who’s seen the consequences for a long time won’t feel – not because it’s less horrifying to them but because they don’t really have the freedom to respond to the situation that way. This is why one person might cry and another person might say, “Why are you crying? Crying won’t do anything.”

Consider that white folks (not all, but a higher percentage than Black and POC folks) have more generational wealth, more individual wealth, more assets like land and property ownership, and more political and social connections – are more likely to have family members or family friends who are in high political or social places or have a greater understanding of how those systems work and how to work well in them – as well as are more likely to be welcomed or trusted or championed within those circles.

So what makes sense to do when you see a horrible thing and you know someone who must know how to change it? Go find that person and work to get that change. This requires that you leave the scene of the problem. This requires that you invest time and materials in things outside of the problem area.


The Problem and the Questions

There are no inherent problems with any of the three above approaches. But there is a problem in that these three midwives can’t save all the drowning babies alone. They each need help.

Do they need equal amounts of help? Who is going to run out of energy first? Whose role allows them to have someone else swap in for them? Whose mission requires the most physical, mental, or emotional energy? Whose lived experiences, whose privileges and powers best equip them for their roles? Whose community is best able to invest in the work they’re doing? How are each of the midwives able to assist the other two? How are their communities able to? Whose work is most often and most regularly invested in? Who gets investors, who gets fundraisers, who gets grants, who gets change dropped in the bucket? Who goes into debt to do their work? Who profits from it? Who looks down and sees their own baby in the river some days? Or their sister’s baby? Or their child’s baby? Who can reasonably become a midwife in the first place — and who can stay one?


The Answers

There are resources out there. There is enough out there to sustain the midwife pulling babies from the river so they can eat and sleep and shower – swapping out with someone else until their next shift. There is enough out there to invest in the education of the second midwife, and to sustain them so they can also eat and sleep and shower until their next shift. There is enough out there to invest in the third midwife, so they can strategize, and lobby and serve some of the babies who may not be in the river at all, because those babies are still out there too, and of course they and their parents still need and deserve care also.

What I know is that all the midwives need to know each other. They all need to talk together, and eat together, and discuss how to act in complementary ways. They all need to be honored, respected and cared for – and right now in this day, particularly the ones in the water, who are treading water themselves and left out of the story. Whose work is sometimes even capitalized upon for the profit and notoriety of others.

We often see attempts at this in the form of one-off fundraising campaigns or documentaries or articles. But we need systems. We live in a country full of industries that have sustained themselves for decades — even to the detriment of others. We need a system that will sustain our life-giving work. It is more than possible.

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2 Documentaries Touching Birth and Justice You Should Know About

Today's post comes to you from Everyday Birth, a new magazine I've launched through The Educated Birth, about pregnancy, birth, and parenthood created for folks from many life experiences. View the original post here.

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People are talking about the very real issues parents face in birth more and more these days. NPR wrote about it, Propublica wrote about it, Serena Williams spoke out about her experience, and groups like BlackMamasMatter, Changing Woman Initiative, all of us involved with Everyday Birth Magazine, and countless others continue to strive to raise awareness and make a difference for so many.

Today, we're sharing two Kickstarter projects, created by folks ready to make waves in what we know about birth, specifically in the United States today. Take a look, and consider how you can and want to support!

Mother May I?

"It just shouldn't be too much to ask, to say,
I just don't want to be traumatized giving birth."

"I thought I was crazy."

One-third of women describe their births as traumatic.  They're also saying they were shamed and silenced afterwards when they tried to talk about how they were treated or how they feel.

"I didn't even know I was allowed to say no."

This situation is urgent.  Every day, more women and birthing people are failed by a system that hurts and traumatizes them--especially women of color and other marginalized groups.

"But at least you have a healthy baby." 

It's not true that you have to choose between a healthy baby and a healthy mom.  In fact, we know outcomes are better for both babies and moms when providers safeguard mothers' mental and emotional well-being.

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."- Alice Walker

As consumers, we have so much more power than we realize!  Public outcry is the only way great social change happens.  This project is a chance to take our sadness, anger, and frustration and turn it into ACTION for CHANGE.  We are making a film to reach the masses, representing people from all backgrounds and walks of life.  We want to bring to light what is happening in maternity care, break the taboos that keep women silent, and present specific solutions.

Original Body of Pain

"Addiction is not a moral deficiency.
It doesn't mean I love my child any less."

Original Body of Pain portrays the American opioid epidemic in an immersive, longitudinal fashion, following families stricken by addiction and Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome - when babies are born exposed to substances - for over a year of their lives. 

Set in Asheville, NC, the documentary follows women through pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond, profiling the highs and lows of motherhood - from first steps and birthday parties, to drug withdrawal, personal traumas, and relapses. 

But this film isn't a sob story or a portrait of shame. Told with compassion, integrity and love, our film documents the bravery and resilience of three strong women at different intersections of the opioid crisis, and makes a compelling statement for sympathy and understanding for those suffering from addiction. 

Furthermore, our documentary is proof that addicts can still make great parents when they're provided the social support and compassionate care that addiction demands. 

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